Laws of success with women and dating
Human psychology is too complex to reduce to rules or laws of attraction – but that’s not the same as saying that there’s nothing to be gained from understanding the processes involved in attraction.Understanding the science of attraction can’t guarantee you a date tonight, but it can point the way towards forming mutually benefiting relationships with other people. Well, first, it turns out that one of the strongest predictors of whether any two people will form a relationship is sheer physical proximity.) and decided to get back into the world of dating.One thing that struck me very early on in my forays was that everyone had an opinion about “what worked” in terms of dating.Chat-up lines may sound like a bit of fun, but all romantic relationships are built on reciprocal self-disclosure – the mutual exchange of intimate information with a partner.Deciding when and how to disclose intimate information to a new partner is an important part of every romantic relationship and can be the difference between an honest, healthy relationship or a closed, stunted one. Giving the impression of dislike is unlikely to spark attraction because it goes against the grain of reciprocity.
Knowing all this, is it possible to predict with any accuracy whether two people will form a stable relationship? One the difficulties with these sorts of predictions is that relationships are complex and often messy.
Once social interaction takes place, other traits come into their own.
It turns out that both women and men value traits such as kindness, warmth, a good sense of humour, and understanding in a potential partner – in other words, we prefer people we perceive as nice.
But more important than sociodemographics is similarity of values – everything from musical tastes to political orientation.
We’re all motivated to think that our views of the world are right and when someone disagrees with us, we feel uncomfortable in their presence.
And so I began researching the science of how we form relationships.