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Earlier, Harris told NPR that while the Bible gives "certain commandments and guidance" relating to sexuality and relationships, Christians often take truths from God's word and add extra human regulation onto them, the pastor contended."For example, there are clear things in statements in Scripture about our sexuality being expressed within the covenant of marriage.That didn’t last, and it didn’t last because , we agreed.He proposed two months later, and we got married after dating for eleven months (I don’t recommend this for everyone, but it worked for us)."Youth, zeal, certainty, ambition ..have the tendency to set the world on fire.
"So you can kind of, like, back up and say well, because of this, then you should do this, this and this as well. We have God's word, but then it's so easy to add all this other stuff to protect people, to control people, to make sure that you don't get anywhere near that place where you could go off course.
We understand our life stories, the complicated set of events and personality that make up who we are.
We’ve let down walls and boundaries that keep acquaintances at arm’s length, and that comes with risk.
"I didn't leave room for the idea that dating could be a healthy way of learning what you're looking for in a long-term relationship, that it could be a part of growing personally," he said.
"I gave the impression that there was one formula that you could follow, and if you followed that, you'd be happily married, God would bless you, and you'd have a great sex life and marriage." He added, "Obviously, the real world doesn't work that way." However, the 42-year-old pastor and author said what he regrets most is the fact that he transferred the fear inside of him to his writing. "Fear of messing up, fear of getting your heart broken, fear of hurting somebody else, fear of sex." Harris, who went on to serve as senior pastor of Covenant Life Church for several years, said he finally understood the problems in his book after he stopped being the pastor of a large church and went to graduate school.
He ends it better than some of the other books I’ve reviewed– there’s an actual summation and conclusion at the end of it, and he wraps it up in a way that makes it feel finished.