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Given how much time we spend together, it’s really difficult for me to make a case against him keeping his online dating profile up if his ridiculousness of a truth is, in fact, a truth at all.He says he likes to read other people’s profile summaries for entertainment purposes while taking a crap on the toilet. I don’t buy it for a second, but in the spirit of trusting him, I went along with it anyway despite my own common sense. Why mess it up with my own emotional hangups and insecurities?I didn’t say anything for a couple of days because I was in shock and wanted to be calm when I discussed it with him. But then he sent me an odd text saying he loves me. Once you tell him how you discovered the information he’ll immediately shut down and feel that you violated the trust of your relationship. However, even though you “accidentally” discovered the information, now that you have it, it trumps any argument he can raise. When I did he looked me in the eye and said he would never, ever do that to me. And if you don’t tell him, you set him up to lie even further. Because when it comes right down to it, he’s the one who breached the trust of the relationship. Sure, it’s clear he loves you, but that doesn’t mean he’s a great boyfriend, and someone to throw your lot in with. Breaking up is the easy solution when you’re operating under the guise of a traditional relationship, but there’s no such thing as traditional when it comes to online dating. At the end of the day, you can’t really make someone be with you if they don’t really want to be with you.In an idealistic world, you’d be able to have your cake and eat it too. All you can really do is let him or her go in peace, and hope that maybe one day soon, he or she will realize before it’s too late what a truly great catch you really are. Based in Los Angeles, Niki Payne has been writing for since 2009 as the LA Dating Examiner.
_______________________________ Read more Relationship Advice and Dating Advice: Why does he have a secret Facebook page? He won’t bring me out with his friends Friends with benefits: why me? This is an example of a guy getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar and then denying it ever happened. Because now you’re second guessing yourself, and wondering if maybe you’re the problem. We assume something must have tipped you off, causing you to be suspicious of your boyfriend.
My heart sank as the truth I had already known finally started to come out. A man can frame it any way he likes, but the simple truth is that a man doesn’t keep his dating profile up unless he wants to keep his options open.
He wants to have the best of both worlds — that of being single, and that of being in a relationship — which now leaves us at the point of either breaking up or renegotiating the terms of our relationship.
If any other girl came to me with the same dilemma, I’d tell her the exact same thing dating expert Evan Marc Katz would say.
He’s not that into you if he’s still looking at other women online. Katz makes a great point in one of his blog posts about this very dating dilemma online. There is simply no viable, reasonable, acceptable response he can make – even if, somehow, he has not met ANY new women since “committing” to you,” argues Katz.
It’s a dilemma that’s more common than you think when online dating turns into an offline relationship.